Watercolors
by Alexiamorana
Summary: A woman with visions of the future meets Auron several years after he first arrives in Zanarkand. Auron/OC 1st person POV. M
1. Chapter 1

This has been on my computer for. ever. and I figured that to get it out of my head once and for all, I had to upload it. Enjoy!

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"Perfect," I whispered to my fresh painting. I leaned back against the bridge's thick rusty metal railing as I sat on my stool. Elbows propped behind me, I smiled at my little piece. The great Zanarkand bridge, softly melting into the background and a small red figure just coming from around the bend.

The breeze from the waters helped the paints to dry, whipping my hair softy about my cheeks. It heightened the soothing feelings and effervescent view of the vision before and around me.

I always thought of him, I always have. For a while now, I've had these dreams. I wondered if they were sent to me - although from whom I couldn't hazard the slightest guess. The dreams scared me at first but gradually I came to know the red blemish in my mind's eye. I knew his strengths, his weaknesses. From the distance, I would watch him turn towards me with a single glance before fading into the dreamland. Who was this man and why did he always look back?

And then something remarkable occurred at that moment as I slowly surfaced from the realm of my daydreams.

In the corner of my vision, I spied my revere for the first time in the flesh descending down the hilly bridge towards me. I though I was daydreaming and had to sit up to make sure what I was seeing was real. My heart jumped and I stopped breathing momentarily. I tried to catch his gaze, to see his good eye from behind the dark rims of his glasses to no avail. His body was as well hidden as his face and he remained as shadowy and mysterious as I had always seen him in my dreams. I shut my mouth as he turned his head in my direction and I ducked to hide behind my painting.

What was I doing? I was so scared. I hit my head with my palms, cursing myself, thinking that I was dreaming again. Nope. The pain was real. These were my hands. This was my painting inches from my nose. The scent of the fresh paint began to suffocate me.

I sat back up. He was still coming for me! One arm tucked in his robe, a sure and steady stride. Just like in the dreams!

A few moments later after swallowing several times and squeezing my eyes shut to clear my vision, I stood. I tried to ignore it. Maybe he was a mirage. Maybe I was going crazy!! My fingers shook as I packed my things and covered my painting with a large cloth. As I collected the last of my paints and folded the stool away, I heard a voice softly from a few feet away.

"Mae." His voice was gruff, low, melodious… Not a hallucination. No way I could imagine a voice that… _ooooh kami_.

I nearly went deaf from surprise and realization that this was actually _him_.

I shut my eyes for a split moment to collect my thoughts and still my body. Then turning around and brushing the hair from my face: "Yes?" I asked nervously. I tried not to seem too startled or distracted.

"I was told you'd be here. It is an honor to meet you."

"Is-is it? How - who told you about me?"

"Jecht."

"Jecht? How is that possible? He's been missing for years! Have you found him? Where is he?"

I held the painting to my chest and threw my bag over my shoulder, taking a step towards him, anxious to hear the words from his mouth to confirm my dreams.

"Is there someplace we can talk?"

"Of course! Come," I beckoned with a toss of my head. My eyes fluttered back and forth from the ground beneath my feet to the skyline to the figure in my peripheral vision.

I walked a few paces ahead of him, amazed that I wasn't dreaming. Why did it take so long for this man to come to me?

"You know my name," he said as we rounded past the docks.

I wasn't sure if that was a question or a statement, so I replied with a quick nod and a glace beside me, muttering, "Auron."

He laughed to himself but said nothing in reply.

I could imagine that any woman would want to walk beside a man such as he. Finally physically being in his presence was nerve-racking. Awe-striking. I tried so hard to contain myself and make sure I did not falter or trip. I had to relax.

Silently, we passed through the city, traversing our way to the other side where I kept my bar. It was dim during open hours, now pitch black. Simple and comfortable design. Felt like home to me.

Fumbling for my keys, I eventually managed to open the door and flick on the light switch.

Turning back, I requested: "If you don't mind taking a seat for a moment."

I went to the back room which was previously a storage room but now my own personal gallery. I placed my bag and canvas on the hardwood floor in the dark and collapsed against the paster wall to catch my breath before I returned and offered him a drink.

"Sake, I assume?"

He nodded, taking off his glasses and placing them on the black-top bar very carefully.

I filled a shotglass for him, which he downed in a single swallow.

"Thank you."

"Of course. Now, Sir Auron, what exactly had Jecht told you?"

"That there was an artist in Zanarkand who was never in the same place twice. She painted her dreams and visions. He was the only one who had ever seen your work."

"True," I smiled, averting my eyes. In my dreams, I never saw his face, and I never saw the details of his clothing. Now it was almost too good to be true. He was the man of my dreams, literally, and I just could not get over it.

"And you are the only man that has ever been in my dreams. I've never seen you in the flesh before now."

"Naturally. Though I wonder what your power is."

"Power?" I gazed at him, curious. His features were hardened, his eye had a strange emptiness to it, sadness, worry, despair, but an unerring strength and resolve at the same time.

"I have no power, Sir Auron. If you wish to call them premonitions, then yes. I suppose that might be considered a power. I'm simply curious as to why I am seeing you now when you have been in Zanarkand for nearly seven years."

He scoffed and when he noticed my curious gaze he shook it off with a wave of a hand and stood. He replaced his glasses meticulously and replied that he would be sure to run into me again in the future. As his fabrics swayed with each step I could only think that he was a very strange man.

When he departed and the door clicked shut with a soft jingle of the bell, I shook my head and whispered to the airs: "It cannot be…"

-----

I could barely sleep for the following few nights, dreaming of him again and again as usual and was finally convinced that I was in love with this dream-turn-reality. I had thought of him for so long, I had these visions of him for so long, that how could it not be possible, even through some psychological mishap, that I was in love?

I dreaded seeing him again, hearing him speak, and wondered if I could manage to keep my voice at a normal pitch and intonation when I spoke to him.

The next time I saw Auron was when I went out wandering one night some days later through the heart of the city. I glimpsed a bit of red darting into a trinket shop. I considered running away, but felt some duty, some obligation perhaps, by some act of _fate _even, to stay put.

I decided not to follow him in but instead sat at a stool at a vendor and ordered a small drink. I sipped it slowly until I heard him emerge. He paused for a second before he approached and then slipped into the stool beside me. His robes brushed my leg as he positioned himself before he ordered his own cocktail.

"I'm surprised you're giving service to another businessman."

I stared at my drink and replied, "I like to get new ideas."

"With flavored water I see. Yes, very ingenious."

I smirked, looking over at him. He had finished the drink already and stood to pay. He began to talk away so I followed suit and chased after him until I could at least attempt to match his stride.

"Would you care for a walk, Sir Auron? I want to talk to you more."

"I believe we already are, Mae."

I sighed and looked ahead, silent as we both drifted to nowhere for nearly half an hour. Suddenly he stopped in an empty market square and peered over his shoulder at me.

"You have nowhere to go?"

"I left the bar to a coworker, so no. Sir Auron, I only wish to get to know you a bit more. I've had these visions every so often for as long as I can remember, and I am curious if you wish for me to tell you of them."

"No. I'll see the future when I come to it. However, I have business to attend to right now. So if you don't mind, I will take my leave."

Before I could reply he strode off and left me wondering what to do next.

And I wondered why he left me so abruptly. Did he not like me? Why would he initially pursue me then? And why after seven years did he appear so suddenly to me? I shook my head again to dismiss these thoughts and returned home.


	2. Chapter 2

I sat on the bridge's handrail later that evening, gripping to either side of me and leaned back slightly with my eyes closed when I heard his voice abruptly.

"If you're not careful, someone will to push you over."

I shot my eyes open and jumped down, quickly gaining my balance and clasped my hands behind me. He came towards me, stopping a few feet away.

"I wish to apologize for being so rude earlier, Miss Wood." He was about to say something more but shut his mouth before anything further leaked out.

"Oh. Don't - don't worry about it, Sir Auron."

He nodded. "Would you mind dropping the 'Sir'?"

"Oh! Of course. All right." I tried to break a smile in an attempt he would add something else. I was lucky:

"Would you care for another walk?"

Smiling, I followed him for the length of the bridge and out towards the water. Eventually he spoke: "When did you start painting?"

"When I was small. Seven years old perhaps. I started including you a year or so before Jecht disappeared. I told him about you in my dreams and he didn't know what to think. Well, he thought it was the desires of a young single woman but that wouldn't exactly explain why you were so blurry, would it?" _Shit_. "I'm sorry...."

He ignored it. "The visions - what are their natures?"

"You in various environments. Mostly in this city. But sometimes somewhere I do not recognize. Your world perhaps? It's must brighter, much more variant terrian."

He peered down at me with his eye, lips firm and arm at a right angle. He returned his gaze to our walk.

"Where is your bar?"

"Oh. Come," I pointed, "This way, it's shorter."

I led him down a side alley and caught a glance from him behind me from the corner of my eye. He held me in his vision for a second before asking, "Turn?"

"Ah. Right." We continued down a bit until I heard a rumbling above us. A storm? No.

"Mae!" He yelled. He tried to pull me back but instead we collapsed against the side of the building. I grunted as I looked up, seeing boxes, beams, metals, whatever, pour down upon us.

Poor construction. The men yelled in terror that we might have been crushed but somehow we weren't.

I folded up into Auron as he covered me and we crouched against the wall. Everything pounded into him with such force I was surprised he didn't break anything. He grunted and his knee was sharply between my legs. Great. After a few moments, I opened my eyes to notice he had shed his left sleeve and his arm was bare. Then I noticed the pole shooting right up through his bicep and the blood dripping down his neck.

I gasped, "Auron!"

"I know," he growled. "I'll pull it later."

"No! You-"

"There's nothing that can be done right now!" he hissed, neck cracking as he snapped his head to look at me, nose and cowl barely a millimeter away.

I shut my mouth then and looked away as much as I could, holding onto myself.

However, despite his harsh words, which in no way were intentional I realized, I felt very comfortable. As he held the wall behind me, bent over my crunched up form, pressing his body into mine to protect me from the rubble, I felt an overpowering desire for him right at that moment. He was breathing into my hair and whispered, voice calmer, "Are you all right, Mae?"

I nodded into my knees, "Yes."

I felt him strain his head up and try to look behind him, but the rubble was so tight around us, he could barely move. We were certainly uncomfortable, he hunched over so, squatting. My legs are already burning from the strain but I couldn't dare move in case something became dislodged around us. He was strong enough as to not collapse into me. I was just worried about his arm. Was it even bleeding?

I bent my head back a bit, and he turned his aside, otherwise he'd be kissing my forehead. I looked at him, his eye was closed, his mouth agape slightly. I shut my eyes again and stretched my fingers, brushing his armor and I wondered why he kept that on. There wasn't anything to fight around here. Why would he need it? I fingered the folds of his robe as I pressed back against the brick wall, balancing on the balls of my feet. I felt him turn his head back, and I released the cloth.

When I looked up at him, he stared back plainly but released a smirk and gazed in the other direction again. I kept gazing up at him until he turned his face back and allowed me to strain up a little to brush my lips to his. I lingered for a moment, before I felt him twitch to my kiss. I released him and buried my head against his chest and waited. How could I have done that? Why?

But I knew.

I had never been so daring with a man before; it wasn't in my nature. This was different.

It must have been another half hour or so before things were slowly pulled from atop us. By that time, I had gone completely numb and I still wondered as to how he couldn't have been hurt. Somehow we got out and he pulled me up. The men apologized, asking over and over if we were all right, noticing the beam in his arm, yelling that they needed to get help.

"We're fine! Leave us! I'll handle myself! Now let us move on," he huffed. He pulled me by the hand to stumble out of the construction site, and let go when we were back in the main alleyway. With a single pull, he wrenched the pole from his arm, gasping once as it freed and dropped it to the ground. He wrapped his arm back up in his robe and glanced around.

"Auron -"

"Mae." It was more of a demand to be silent than a request for me to look at him. He bent his head and turned to face me. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be so rude."

I broke a small smile, feeling apprehensive to say anything.

He stepped forward and took my hand in his gloved one and give it a small kiss, then dropping it to my side.

"Now that that way is blocked, how do we get back to your bar?"

I shut my slightly agape mouth and attempted to stifle a giggle but a bit got out. He peered down at me from behind his glasses, raising an eyebrow.

"It's this way," I pointed and led him down an empty street towards the far end of Zanarkand, cursing to myself the whole time - about the kiss, about the giggle….

He followed silently until we came to an intersection with a small statue and I stopped.

Usually my visions came at night, but in one flash of a second, I saw the city in ruins and Auron running towards me.

"What is it?"

I told him and asked if he knew what I was foreseeing.

He stared at me a moment before shaking his head. "No."

"I don't believe you, Auron. Tell me. You came here shortly after Jecht disappeared. Everyone knows you're not from Zanarkand. Where are you from, Auron? I won't tell anyone if you're worried."

"You don't need to know."

I looked around, turning back towards the statue, before starting off again and he strode behind me.

Coming back to my bar, I turned around with my hand on the door to see him staring off into the distance.

He looked back at me: "You wish for me to tell you everything?"

I nodded. "Yes. I want to know what I've been seeing."

"Very well."

I opened the door and he followed me in. Settling down at a table in the corner, he removed his glasses and placed them on the wood delicately.

I sat opposite him and he began to tell me everything without hesitation. It was all so complicated; aeons, summoners, Yunalesca, Sin, Jecht…. I kept my mouth shut as he spoke, giving just enough detail for me to grasp what went on in his world. He never paused even when he told me he was an unsent and that he was here to take care of Tidus.

That was why he wasn't wounded back there. And the gaze in his eyes, they are of a dead man.

I couldn't make this awkward, so I nodded in understanding and he spoke again.

"I must assume that Jecht will return here one day. For Tidus."

"He did love his son."

"Something Tidus has yet to understand."

"Hm." I leaned back in my seat to absorb what he told me. It wasn't all that surprising, really. It was interesting. "Your world - I do hope to see it one day. Zanarkand is lovely and there is always something to do, but, it's not as beautiful as I imagine Spira to be. But Auron -"

"It would be better if you didn't ask questions, Mae."

I was abit taken aback but consented: "Very well."

Standing, I offered him a drink and we spoke of Tidus and Jecht and what I knew of them when Jecht lived here and what they were like. Auron then offered to tell me of how he came to be a guardian to Braska, that he refused to marry the daughter of a high priest and how he eventually left Bevelle. How he wandered then, finding another disgraced member of the temple for marrying an Al-Bhed….

After a few minutes of silence he stood, looking down at me. "Mae. Would you - care for a meal?"

"That would be wonderful, yes. Thank you." He took my hand as I stood, dropping it almost immediately to depart the bar.

We strode wordlessly through the city. I followed him several blocks, noticing how he only stared straight ahead, never admiring the buildings around him, never making eye contact with strangers. Yet they would nod as I passed or give questioning looks. I tried to ignore the latter.

A block from the restaurant, he paused for me to catch up, then continued walking at my side. He chose a simple place to dine and we were led to a table in the back by the waiter.

We were interrupted at the restaurant by an art dealer I had seen around. He said I had been hard to track down but that "Dear old Jecht" had mentioned my skills to him some time ago. But he had been busy - like I believed that, this man was known for being purely lazy - and had only until now remembered my name and now wished for me to paint for a list of clients he had. I accepted his address and said I would be by later to speak with him.

As he walked away, Auron grumbled, "You shouldn't trust him."

"What? Well, he is surely not the best man to work with, but I'm sure I can order him into something. I've always wanted a gallery. I hate storing my paintings in the bar. Oh, Auron, I wouldn't show any which include you. None of those, no. I have plenty others, though, that I would like to sell if I get the chance."

"Hmm. Very well."

He returned me home with a kiss to the forehead and departed without another word.


	3. Chapter 3

I couldn't believe it was happening. A couple kisses and touches were all I needed. _It was happening_.

It was a little over a week before I heard from him again. Tidus delivered a flower to my door; no one in Zanarkand had seen real plants since. - well, no one here has ever seen a real one except in a small museum. It was a rose, specifically, and Tidus handed it to me with a warm smile.

"He fancies you, Miss Wood."

"_Thank you_, Tidus. Was there a point to this, though?"

"Oh, yeah yeah, he, uh... he wants you to meet him at the dojo."

"Right now?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, well, let's go then."

"I've got a game to play, Mae, so I'll be seeing you!"

"So long, Tidus."

It wasn't until after Tidus had left and I begun walking that I realized that I had no idea where I was going. I tried to remember if I had ever heard of where the dojo was in this city. I couldn't believe I had never been there before... Where was it? I headed towards the waters and it wasn't until a good 15 minutes later that I finally arrived at the dojo to see Auron standing outside, leaning against the walls.

"He didn't offer directions, did he?"

"Unfortunately no. I am sorry for being late, Auron. Forgive me."

I held out the rose in my hand. "What exactly do you have planned for me?"

"A show."

I ran the thorny stem through my fingers as I spoke, "A show? Oh! After the game, you mean?"

"Yes."

"That would be nice. "

He smirked that sexy smirk, adding, "Come in for a minute."

I slipped off my shoes on the tatami, following him to the back where he had tea prepared. I noticed his sword leaning against the wall to my right; I've never seen a weapon so large before. It was almost as tall as himself.

We knelt and I was wondering what exactly was going on. He hadn't seemed to be the type of man to show outward displays of affection, especially to someone he only met relatively recently.

"I made an oath to myself when I quit the temple to never become involved with a woman. My duties were to be solely to myself and my master. Coming to Zanarkand, I knew I would have to return home one day. Therefore, I could not allow myself to grow close to anyone. However," the word slipped from his lips... _However what?_ "I believe I have failed myself."

He took a sip from his tea before finishing the rest. He looked at me over his rims; I was just as still as I had been when I sat down. But… so soon? I - it wasn't quite sinking in until he asked a question:

"Will you accompany me to the show later?"

"I would greatly enjoy that, Auron. I am sorry I made you break a vow to yourself." I understood how serious he meant what he had said. I didn't want him to feel badly about himself for becoming interested in me. But how my heart beat and my mind was screaming for me to just take him!

"If you would like me to-"

"I would like you to enjoy your tea, Mae."

"Yes, Sir." I placed the rose on my lap and sipped at the tea, looking around the small room as I did so. There were several tapestries covering the walls. I noticed a stairway in the corner which I assumed led to his rooms.

Mental note.

Finishing my tea, we both stood and he led me back to the main room.

"I have things to attend to, Mae. Would you mind if I meet you out front?"

I nodded and thanked him again, departing. I looked back at the dojo as I walked away but he was already back inside. He was certainly very different from other men. Like he didn't quite know how to treat a woman. Though that must just be because he was never exposed to any in the temples.

-----

I met him later at the stadium and we made our way through the crowds to find our seats in the rear. We settled without a word and the light show began just moments after. It was absolutley amazing, how the lights reflected and refracted, changing colors and making bursts in the water. There were sound effects as well but I was more concentrated on Auron's steady breathing beside me. I glanced at him from time to time to express my amazement but he kept his gaze forward the entire time. At one point during a softer section near the middle of the show he took my hand in his ungloved one, holding it firmly for the rest of the night.

"Auron that was wonderful. Thank you so much. Believe it or not, I've never been to a light show before!" We were crossing the giant bridge, unsure where really to go next. It felt wonderful to be out walking with him again. The last time was rudely interrupted by that construction fall.

"My pleasure," he replied.

We wandered through Zanarkand and I stopped to window shop every few minutes, until I offered to show him my home.

"Is that wise?"

"I - I don't see why not. I wished to show you some of my paintings, if you don't mind. A drink, perhaps?"

He nodded after a moment, lips firm. He looked beyond me to somewhere far in the distance, or far within himself, and began striding ahead of me until I directed him towards the right street.

I wondered what would happen next. I wouldn't stop him if he wanted sex, but again, he didn't seem like the type of man who would take a woman to bed so quickly. Although many of my assumptions about him have been broken so far.

And it was never in my visions, though perhaps those sort of things just don't appear to me.


	4. Chapter 4

Returning to my home, I let him in, offering him a drink from the back and ordering him to remove his boots at the door. He did so, setting them neatly beside mine. They looked in-place there.

"Your home seems comfortable, Mae."

"Thank you. My mother bought it for me not too long ago," I said as I poured him a bit of sake.

Stepping forward, he took the cup, swallowing it slowly, one hand under the cup, other holding it.

I beckoned him to follow me to a side room. The moonlight lit up the area just enough so I didn't have to turn on a light. I watched him as he paced around the room to look at the paintings I had done. Half were of the naked city, others of strangers, the rest with he as the focus. He paused at those, sighing once, then departed the room in agitation.

"Auron."

He set his cup back on the bar, splaying a palm upon its countertop and peered at me.

"Why do you paint them?"

"I have to. Otherwise they cloud my mind."

He cast his gaze aside to watch some invisible speck of dust float through the air and out into the main room. He turned abruptly for the door.

"Auron!"

He didn't appear to hear me.

I was about to say something more, but I wasn't sure what. _Why are you leaving?_

I watched him leave without a word, not closing the door behind him.

I thought that was it. For the night. Forever.

I sighed and slammed myself against a wall, stiffling the tears that wanted to pour out. Minutes later, I regained my composure and rubbed my eyes. I returned to the study and stood, wondering. Where these paintings not meant to be? Was he not supposed to see them? They were visions and visions were often the future, of things to come in some other place I did not recognize. And I wondered if I had offended him by showing him these. If there was some spark in his soul that flickered, fainting, at these ominous sights, then I was truly sorry.

Lost in my thoughts, I did not hear him approach; I only felt his hands on my shoulders.

I turned around in his grasp.

"I tend to be rude, I fear."

"Auron, why-," I whispered, averting his eye as he bent down to give me a soft kiss. Then he stepped back, cocking his head slightly in apology.

I forgave him easily. Although I didn't quite understand it yet.

I reached to finger the leather of his chestpiece hesitantly. He didn't move; he just looked at me. I embraced him slowly and that was when he tried to resist. He tried to push my arms away gently, but I couldn't let him.

I had drempt about him for too long and now here he was, tangible in my grasp and I could love him, not just the visions of him I had adored for so long, but actually _him_.

I gripped onto his robe, holding the cloth tight as I pulled him closer to me, kissing him again, pulling at his lower lip.

He pulled back forcefully and I sighed, dropping my arms to my sides.

"Mae."

I shook my head, eyes closed. "I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't. But I was afraid that you-"

He cut me off with a smirk and turned away.

He took a few steps back towards the door

I said his name, pleading. It hurt now. Thinking that my dreams may never return. He had been my friend, my love, and now that it was real, I could not bare the thoughts.

He stopped and turned which was the signal that is was okay for me to come close again.

I reached up, as if to touch a frightened animal. I dared to kiss him once, a taste. Then kissed him again, teasing his lips and testing myself.

He wasn't resisting.

I slid down my hand and held to his robe as we tasted each other at first. He gently applied his fingertips to my arms, migrating them to my shoulders then to my neck and I pressed my hands lightly to his chest. I wrapped a few fingers in his robe and tugged, begging him to kiss deeper. My other hand searched behind me for the countertop and I pulled him back with me. I felt his arms, one through the cloth, the other naked. Trailing my hands up to his face and back into his hair, he took a breath, just a simple look, before resuming with increasing intensity.

I pushed though his lips with my tongue, sucking at his mouth, and drifted my hands to his waist to hold onto his belt. He didn't seem like he needed to breathe, and he tasted so _good_. And all the pain he had ever felt in his life, I wanted to take it from him. Everything that he had told me disappeared for the time. He gripped my arms tight as I began to unclasp the belts around his waist.

He pulled back slightly and I snapped my hands away to slap on the countertop. "I'm sorry," I whispered and cast my gaze downwards to the floor, trying not to observe other aspects of the man before me.

He stood there, speechless, arms on either side of me, head bent down against mine. I wanted to know what he was thinking. He was hesitant to come here in the first place; neither of us planned this. Though he did initiate it. I thought he was going to pull away and depart again but instead he took to kissing my neck, slowly, working his way back to my lips and to the other side. I slid my hands along his sides, holding his waist, again fingering his belts. I managed to loosen the outer belts, freeing the large piece to the floor. Trailing my hands up, I began to pull down his robe. He moved back so as to remove his glove and bracer, tossing all three down. When he was finished with those and motioned to kiss me again, I stopped him. I took his hand and moved around him, pulling him to the back of my home. Passing through a deep crimson and blue flower-printed tapestry, I introduced him to my room.

I dropped his hand and he gazed around. I had various colorful tapestries and small paintings donning the walls, a single bureau and a small futon. I felt so frail in comparison to him. There were still some small scars on his arms, barely noticeable, but never to fade. I felt my heart slowing down a little as he stood completely motionless, thinking to himself about something.

"Auron?" I whispered. "Are you all right?"

He turned back around to me and nodded, though I could tell his mind was somewhere else now. The light I had seen in his eye momentarily had faded. And still he remained unmoving.

I stepped towards him, wrapping my arms around his waist and pressed my head to his chest. Sliding my hands around, I fumbled with the buckles keeping his chest covered. He pushed my hands away and undid them himself, sliding that up and off, tossing it aside as he dug his fingers into my arms, kissing me again, now vicious, deep, releasing with swollen lips containing a passion he probably hadn't felt since he was alive.

"What- what do you feel?" I muttered, " You said-"

"My emotions are not false if that is what you're implying."

"No.. no not at all," I said shaking my head.

"I am able to feel passion, Mae." He gazed at me, finally removing his glasses and placing them carefully on my bureau beside us. Shoving himself into me and I into the wall, I slid my hands up around his shoulders and into his hair, tracing the gray strands with my forefingers. He pulled my arms back down, pinning them to my sides as he took to kissing my neck and the tops of my breasts. He trailed his kisses back to my lips and I broke free from his grasp, releasing him from his second belt, pulling him closer into me by his waist. Nimbly, he untied the knot that kept my top piece together and it slid loose down my arms to fall to the floor. I had to laugh nervously to myself when I saw the glow in his eye return. I covered myself with my arms in embarrassment, though I knew I shouldn't be. He wouldn't hurt me.

He touched my skin lightly - a reassurance, a declaration. I let him take my hands and he kissed me again, pressing himself to me. My heart jumped as I felt his skin against my breasts, bare to his firm form. He kissed me softly and I smiled into it. Slipping my fingers an inch or so down his pants, we stumbled towards my futon with a fresh excitement and need.

I knew that I had those dreams of him for some reason. He had hurt for so long and I wanted him to release everything he had ever felt into me. I didn't mind that he was a little rough - I would have been surprised if he wasn't.

I loosened his pants, gasping into his mouth as he caressed my breasts with his thumbs. He was so gentle. He tripped onto my futon on the floor. I collapsed atop him, laughing softly into his ear and my battle with his pants temporarily forgotten.

He glowered at me for a moment before I laughed again at him and his features softened. I pushed myself back up, sliding his pants down and off, tossing those aside. I blushed and shut my eyes, trying to stifle another giggle as I saw how... bulged... he had become under his shorts. I crawled back atop him, his turn now to slip down the layered skirt and undergarment.

I gripped his hand against my hip before he had the opportunity to go further. "Should I not?" he asked.

I was so sure of what I wanted until this moment of truth. But if not now, when? I should not let this slip by me. I nodded, feeling my love for him deep within me and guided his hands as they completed their work.

Holding my waist, he gazed at me until I smiled and softly kissed the scar running over his right eye. I sucked on his lips and he pulled me down atop him.

I gasped. I felt _it_. Oh, I felt like a teenager. It twitched to my touch and I had to resist the urge to roll over and have a laughing fit.

He raised an eyebrow at me, asking, "Mae?"

I shook my head and kissed him again. Entwining himself with me, he rolled us over and slid off his undergarment. I shut my eyes, leaning my head back and felt him caress my inner thighs, felt him slide his hands up to my stomach to beneath my breasts and off onto the sheets. Spontaneously, I opened up to him.

"Look at me," he said. A demand.

I looked at him through half-lidded eyes; I wanted him _now_. And his features were gentler, soothing. I loved him and I still did not believe we were here doing this. It was wonderful.

"Don't let me hurt you."

"I don't mind…"

He frowned and kissed my neck, pressing himself hard against me, into me. A shock burst up my spine and my head spun for a moment. He pushed in once and I had to stiffle a gasp but I urged him on. He tried to hold in his breath as he pumped, occasionally emitting a gasp. Harder, he huffed against me and I dug my fingers of one hand into his back, the other holding onto his head, infrequently threading my fingers through his hair. My vision was fading and everything felt numb. He was sweating lightly and I pressed my head tight against his, holding him firmly between my legs as he continued, sometimes whispering my name, and once I think I accidently responded with an "I love you." I scraped at his back as we both climaxed, and that was the moment I wish I could experience over and over again - just holding onto each other like that for the first time. I didn't realize for just how long I had loved him until that moment. In the dreams and on our walks, I loved him.

He pulled out gently, catching my gaze again. My legs collapsed and he lifted up another few inches. He held himself up for another moment, allowing me to see his faint smile. Laying beside me, he took me in his arms and kissed my forehead. I held tight and we were just so for a while ... until at some point I fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

I awoke holding onto him, back faced to me. I slid my hands off and rolled to my other side in thoughts that I should let him get up. Some time later I felt him rise and heard him slip on his pants. I lay, recalling everything that happened in the past few nights. And then I rose and wrapped myself in my sheets, going out to the kitchen to see him half-clothed and sitting stoically, eye closed, and hands clasped tightly to his forehead. Shuffling over softly, I placed a hand on his bare arm. He didn't move. Was he not happy?

"Auron," I whispered, my voice wavering a bit.

He dropped his hands and wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me close. After a moment, he turned his head into my stomach, muttering, "I'm so sorry."

"There's nothing for you to apologize for!"

I smiled but his features were still stoic.

"I didn't want to do that during my stay here." He fingered the cloth against my body.

I smiled softly. It wasn't the sex that he was referring to. It was something much more.

"I think I understand. But you shouldn't worry."

I don't know if I convinced him, but he stood up, pushing back the stool, and took me in a tight embrace. He pressed a hand to my back and his lips into my neck.

I buried my head in his chest and gripped his waist for dear life. I did not want to lose this man and while I would have him for the next few years, as I dearly hoped, it was sure to end.

Gripping my shoulders, he planted a firm kiss to my forehead and I went to dress, we taking a meal soon afterwards.

-----

The next few days passed uneventfully until I remembered about the art dealer. Within the week, I was to showcase a few pieces at a little building on the other side of the city. I thought on and off of what had occurred and hoped that he wouldn't ignore me like some men had the habit of doing. But he was different. And all I could hope was that we'd do it again and I could see him smile. I wanted him to love me. I think he did. I felt it. Even though things seemed to be happening so quickly, I knew this was how it would be and I was truly happy.

Auron was busy training Tidus and I had things to plan and more visions to paint. I was having more now than ever and some I simply didn't want to see. One particular sight disturbed me and I ran to the dojo shaken.

I tried to steady my feet and I slid open the screen. He relaxed from his stance when he heard me enter and immediately asked me what the matter was. I refused to tell him and I ordered him never to ask me about it but only to let me stay with him for the rest of the night. He stared at me a moment, thinking what to do next, and agreed.

"Go upstairs. Tidus will be here in a few minutes."

"Thank you," I muttered. I couldn't even look at him. I rushed to the back room, first darting up the stairs then slowing, realizing that if I continued to act like this, I would end up telling him what I saw. Though it wouldn't make much difference. I'm sure he's already decided his fate.

Pushing back a long red curtain at the top, I came into a small room with a tatami floor and tapestries of the city hanging on the walls. I studied those for distraction and for artistic inspiration before noticing another red curtain to the side. I pulled this one aside slowly, peering into his room which contained a single futon and a small side table. The walls were bare as was the floor. I decided to go back into the tapestry room and sit and wait for his lesson to be over.

-----

I had managed to clear my thoughts when I heard him come upstairs. I was lying on the floor when he entered but immediately jumped up to greet him.

"Auron-"

"Are you fareing better?" He approached me, stopping a foot or so away.

"I am, thank you. It was-just something that-"

"You don't have to tell me. Don't."

"Of course," I sighed. "I'm sorry you had to see me like that."

"As long as you're okay. Tell me, now, when is the gallery opening?"

"Oh." So we're not going to talk about… I had been thinking about the sex for a minute… "Um, in 3 days I believe. Though if you would like to see it now, I can let you in. There are a few you haven't seen yet."

"Very well," he said, breaking a small smile.

It would be a good distraction, I supposed. Just to relax.

I led him by the hand out into the city for a few blocks before he broke my grip and trailed a couple steps behind. I thought nothing of it until we came to the little building at the end of the block near the waters.

"We should not do this, Mae."

"What? I can let you in-," I said, confused.

"That's not what I mean."

I know what he meant. I felt it as we were walking.

"Come in," I demanded of him, nearly hissing my words. I shoved the key in, unlocking the door and shuffling in, waiting for him to come in behind me.

He shut the door in the darkness and I turned on him, inspecting his form in the dim light, before bursting and snapping at him.

"I don't think you understand me, Auron. I _love _you. I. Love you. And you don't want me to because you don't want me to be hurt. Or perhaps it's because you want to save yourself. Auron, I know what's going to happen to you, I know my visions, I know that they always come true. So you need to believe me. That's all I ask. Push everything else aside. We _are_ going to have this because it is going to happen. That's all it takes. We are trapped by fate, if you call it that. If you do not wish to believe in it, then say so now and leave me so you can protect yourself."

In my frustration and anger at him, as well as at myself, I felt myself want to cry. I wanted to cry for him, for his weakness. I slapped the back of my hand to my mouth, half in shock that I could have said such a thing, and half in hopes to not begin to cry.

He reached out to me, tightly gripping my front, and pulled me forward. He looked down at me as I went limp in his hold. "I defied my own wishes and my instincts to speak with you and to sleep with you. I went against my beliefs. I did not choose to fall in love with you, Mae. It happened and I will not reject you if you are strong enough to accept the pain of being with me."

_'In love with me?'_

"But why do you think it would be painful-"

"Why do you weep?" He loosened me.

I didn't even notice I had started to cry… "I do not want to loose you, but it will happen," I sighed. "These visions now, they are more powerful and more detailed than before and I wish I didn't have them because I wish we could just.. live how we likeand I wouldn't know what would happen."

"Yet that is not how the fates will have it," he said. He took me in his arms, holding me so tightly it hurt. He kissed my head, whispering, "We have time, Mae, I realize that now. Forgive me. I know that you are not going to back away and you will never refuse me. You are strong."

I felt him about to say something else, and I knew what it was going to be. I pulled away from him, feeling fresh tears start to develop. I gripped his face tightly in my hands, pulling him down into a deep hungry kiss. I started to tremble, my lips shaking against his. He broke the kiss and sighed before kissing my forehead again and again pulling me tight.

"I am sorry."

I held to his robe but he pulled away to drop his left sleeve and began to unfasten his glove. I watched him, wiping the tears from my eyes. I was weak, I really was. In some fashion anyway… My heart was shaking, knowing that three years was all we got, though I suppose it was better than never being with him at all. I've never been more comfortable.

He dropped the glove and bracer, shrugging off his other sleeve and carressed my cheek with his finger tips.

"You believe me that I love you, Mae? Believe me. And with a thousand appologizes for doubting myself the other night and arguing with you now, I do care for you. Though it doesn't seem like it's been long enough, that is no matter. I have been wrong, I have blinded myself selfishly and I will not hide from you or from myself. Let me continue to love you."

He then began to unfasten his armor. I stepped forward; he halted his movements and allowed me to kiss his scar once, then his lips.

"You get sidetracked so easily, don't you," I said. Typical man.

I realized then that this wouldn't be the ideal place to make love to him. Some of my paintings were still leaning against the walls, not yet hung up. Fancy light fixtures had to be screwed in and a tarp was strewn on the floor to catch paint from the ceiling. This was to be the main gallery…

I gripped his wrist gently and I led him to the back room. It contained a few paintings which I was still debating whether or not to hang up. A hand to his chest, I pressed him against the opposite wall, barely making out his face in the darkness. I wish there was somewhere to put those glasses; it would be a shame if they broke. We fumbled quickly, dropping his belts and robe to the floor beside us and I couldn't help but laugh as he attempted to undo the ties of my back.

"I am happy-" I assisted him. "-that you turned out to be real and not the dream of a single woman as Jecht supposed."

"I am only as real as this world allows."

"Don't be so dramatic."

While he was a romantic on the outside, internally there was a burning flare that never seemed to go out.

He kissed my swollen eyelids and my warm cheeks, appologizing again as I held onto him. Then much slower though quite expertly in the dark, he unfastened everything and held me bare. He sighed and whispered, "You're too beautiful," holding my shoulders in his coarse hands.

And within minutes he had me pinned to the wall, gently rocking into me, whispering my name again, and every time I would kiss him, or bite him, and he would gain intensity. Finally, we came and collapsed to the floor. I curled into his chest and held him tightly for the next hour in silence.


	6. Chapter 6

When he eventually decided to rise and dress, I led him back into the main room, where we were greeted by the art dealer standing in the middle of the tarp admiring a piece on the floor beside him.

"Ah, Miss Wood. And Sir Auron, I see."

I hoped I wasn't blushing too much and that he couldn't see in the dim light.

"Yes, may I help you?"

"Indeed. It seems we need to postpone the opening by another week due to construction delays and such…"

And so forth. The next hour I debated with the man about money and benefits and I didn't even realize that Auron had disappeared and I had to take yet another hour to find him in the city.

When I finally caught up to him, I found him sitting on a bench with his robe shrugged off to his waist, hands clasped between his knees. He stared off into the distance from the docks, barely breathing. The light breeze fluttered his ponytail as he sat motionless with his back to me.

"If you wish to join me, Mae, you are permitted."

"Thank you for acknowledging my presence." I smirked to myself as I slid down to his right.

He didn't speak to me for another few minutes and I didn't feel like I had to ask my question.

"I had never been so bold. Charging out to Yunalesca seems like nothing in comparison."

"Am I that frightening?"

He laughed. "I can only imagine if that man had walked in earlier."

"We should see next time. Risks give good jolts to one's heart."

"Just what I need…"

"Auron…"

He turned his head to gaze up at me. I slouched down as well to become equals with him and his eye followed. I kissed him softly.

He was thinking of other things, though. I could tell in his softened features, and I could venture a guess as to what.

I asked a daring question:

"Would you marry me if we were in your world?"

He sighed and leaned back, his good eye shifting back to the waters, with hands still grasped to rest on his belt. I sat up straight to look at him.

"But we are not. There is no point in hypothetical situations, Mae."

I knew better than to push the point I wanted to make. But he was still saddened. The emptyness wasn't as deep as when I first met him. It gradually disappeared as we spent time together and yet he was still bothered. But what could I do?

I turned so as to grip his leg with my hand, my other to carress his cheek and stubble. He looked aged beyond his years and I could only try to imagine over and over what he had seen those years ago.

"You've been here for seven years now. And your duties are far from finished. But… I suppose, look at this like your break to relax. Enjoy yourself here. It's a wonderful city, I don't need to tell you that. Please. Stay in my bar all day if you wish. I wouldn't mind that."

I took his face in both hands to kiss him fully and lovingly. He broke it first, gripping my wrists tight to bring to his lap. Then he nodded and beckoned me to stand.

He led me by the hand back to his dojo and silently up the stairs to behind the curtain I had peered through once before.

I stood just within as he took to his small cabinet and knelt, pulling out a drawer and immediately withdrew what he sought. I couldn't tell what it was. He came to me with a clenched fist just inches away.

"The answer to your previous question would always be no. I stopped believing in institutions a while ago. I think my personal manner-of-way should be satisfied only. Although," he unclenched his hand and I looked down as he continued to speak, "particular customs cannot be completely ignored for there is no other reasonable alternative."

A very slim silver ring lay in his palm.

"Auron… You don't approve of marriage, but of mock-engagement?"

"If you wish to say that, yes."

I held out my hand to let him slip it on. He did so with nothing more that his small uplifting of the lips, then kissed me, hands clapsed tight in his own.

I never would have thought all this would occur in such a short amount of time. More time for us then later…

"I need… to get to work." I had completely forgotten earlier. "If you want to come…"

He nodded and followed me in his silence to the bar, settling himself in the corner to watch me from his sidelong glances. I tried not to touch the new piece on my hand too often. And when I came to close for the day I led him to his dojo where he let me in and we went upstairs, obviously trying to mask our burning desire for the other.

I entered his room first, immediately turning around to grip his belt and thrust him against the wall. The power I could have when I was horny… He took off his glasses to toss them aside as I undid the belts of his chestplate.

"You always… wear… so much.. shit, Auron. Can't pants and a shirt satisfy you?"

The heavy clunk of the leather and his belts made him raise an eyebrow. "Maybe you need more practice."

He sucked my neck, fingers digging through the fabrics that covered my chest until he found the clasps to undo them. I pulled out of it and dropped it, clawing at his flesh as I bit his bottom lip. I smiled into the kiss and felt him grow as I pressed against him.

He pressed back, hands kneading down my sides to unclasp my bottom piece and undergarments until I was naked against the wall, still fumbling with his damn pants.

"Mae."

"What? Are these new? Why isn't it out yet?"

He laughed at me. A full laugh. He let me loose and stepped back to satisfy my desire to see him naked.

They were new pants…

I rushed him, thrusting him on his back, and spoke aloud my desire to ride him.

He gazed at me wide-eyed for a moment before pulling me down and gripped my sides, kissing my neck again. I pushed his arms away and ordered him to stay as still as possible as I scootched back and very slowly lowered myself.

He watched, entranced, and how glad I was that I could do this to him.

I realized afterwards, though, that this third time was no more special than before. The only difference was the band on my finger and that he held onto me as I slept and was still there when I awoke. He had covered us in his single red linen and allowed me to use his arm as a pillow. He didn't move or blink as I opened my eyes to greet him. I rolled atop him, arms bent under me to hold his chest. I kissed him once then pushed myself up slightly to simply look at him. I traced the scar that ran over his eye to his neck and back, wrapping my arms around him. He held me tightly and we lay so for another good hour, slipping in and out of sleep.

This time _was_ better.

He carressed my back, whispering _Aishiteru_ into the air so the word would permeate the walls and I could feel it. He knew now, finally, that things would be just fine.


	7. Chapter 7

Hours later, I sat at a canvas I brought to his room so he could watch me paint. Intermitently he read, cross-legged on his futon, and stood to comment on my progress.

Then my head burst. I had the vision again, the one I had when I ran to him afterwards, but this time, I felt it. I felt the lights and the colors. The sensation itself - of being sent - was comforting, but it was more the initial shock that hurt. I didn't even hear myself groan or feel his hands on my shoulders as he tried to steady me. I couldn't hear his voice. I couldn't see. I heard other words, _It's been long enough_. Were they his? _This is your world now_. They were. I didn't hear them the first time, now they were clear. I felt my tears, though. I saw him erupt into the darkness, in clear, beautiful spheres of soft light. I heard gasps somewhere from beyond my field of vision as he disappeared.

I opened my eyes. He was cradling me on the floor, my breathing was labored and my brow sweaty.

"Mae."

He was so worried.

I looked up at him and kissed him hard and ran my hands along his face, his scar, through his hair, then embraced him harder than I ever have. I buried my face in his neck and felt the needto cry again. I had to hold it in.

"I'm sick of these visions, Auron. It's too real. This one. I can't. I don't want them. It's too much."

This time, he knew not to say anything.

He held onto me for a few minutes before I could calm down and regain composure. Finally I pulled back reluctantly but continued to finger the folds in his pants.

"I'm sorry to scare you." I tried smiling to tell him I was fine. The pain had subsidded almost instantly.

What bothered me, though, was the setting of the vision. He stood on a platform, overlooking a city. Zanarkand. I recognized the lights, but they were fuzzy. He stood somewhere I had never been and there was another feeling of loss in the scene. Something was off.

"Auron –"

"You should get some air, Mae."

I shook my head. "Not yet."

Then I dared to ask him a question.

"Zanarkand, this Zanarkand. Where is it in relation to your world? Where is this place? Tell me the truth, Auron."

He breathed in and stood.

The loss of contact sent a chill through me.

Auron returned to his futon and sat on the edge, clasped his hands between his knees and looked at me.

"We're very far from my home. It's a different land, an island, very far away. This Zanarkand, it's not one with Spira."

"What do you mean?"

"Do you recall Yunalesca? She was from Zanarkand. The original one. The one that was destroyed 1000 years ago. Now, every time Sin appears, we make pilgrimages to Zanarkand to meet her. There, the summoner receives his final Aeon formed from one of his guardians. Jecht was the guardian chosen. He is now Sin in Spira. And I am to return and destroy him so that Sin is no more."

"I don't… what I saw then-"

"Is this Zanarkand. A land for the dead from the war 1000 years ago."

What could I say to that? I had no reason not to believe him, but it seemed so much more complicated now. And then there was the matter of… what am I?

"When Sin is finally destroyed, the fayth will all be able to rest and they can stop dreaming."

"And we will all disappear."

He shut his eye then and hung his head. What comfort could he offer? He had no say in this; he was a participant and I was yet another. One with no say or control over my life that didn't really exist anyway.

What then, did this say about my visions?

Why would I possibly have reason to go to Spira?

Tidus…. He was Jecht's son. If Jecht is Sin…. There was something there that made sense in a back corner of my thoughts, but couldn't connect myself to Spira. Now it didn't make sense. How would I get there?

I could barely think.

But I couldn't let this get to me, I could no. There was no point in wondering. When you realize that your world is fake, then what does that make everyone who lives in that world?

This world may be a dream and yet I am alive. I feel it. I feel love and pain. I am alive.

I stood up slowly and let my head stop spinning, then I shuffled over to him and sat beside him. He lay back but I still looked forward at the wall.

"Thank you."

I turned and smiled down at him. "We will be here together until it ends."

He sat up and squeezed my hand once. "You should finish your painting. Let it be your goal to have the most popular exhibit by then. Leave your print on this world."

I nodded and returned to my work, trying to push away the new knowledge that was permeating my thoughts.

-----

He had a new student to train again and I didn't see him for a few days for any extented period of time. He'd stop in the bar for a drink and a quick chat then I would have to leave to speak business with the buyer and settle things for the exhibit. By the end of the day I'd be too tired to trek to the dojo. Often I fell asleep at the bar and one night found myself wake in Auron's bed.

I shuffled down and watched him train his student. I had never seen him fight before; it was amazing. I planned on asking if he would teach me one day.

The student was male, tall, brunette. He fell hard on the tatami and cursed. Auron pulled him up by the sleeve and stood in proper stance again. The boy rushed at him and was immediately knocked flat on his back.

"I think you need to get out of here for today. We're getting nowhere."

"Sensei!"

"No!"

He rushed out with his sword and Auron stood exasperated, shaking his head.

"He's that bad, eh?"

He turned around emitting a slight smile. "You slept well?"

"I did, thank you for bringing me here. Though I need to get back in an hour. I need more money than ever to pay for the exhibition rent."

"Then sell your home."

"What?"

"Live here."

"I – I couldn't."

"You don't want to?"

"I do. I mean, I would love to live here with you but I don't want to be a burden."

"Don't make excuses."

"If you so demand it…."

"I do."

"Very well. But do you have room for me?"

"There's enough."


	8. Chapter 8

And so I sold my home that night easily. Auron helped me bring over my few belongings and I set them in the futon closet. My canvases were all either back in the bar storage room or the back room of the exhibition space. I needn't worry about those.

After I put everything away, I found him downstairs, robe strewn aside having tea. I joined him without a word and he poured for me.

I received a letter sometime later that I had to be ready in two days for the opening. Naturally I was furious with the late notice but Auron offered to help with the setup.

Only the dealer was there to welcome us and we took to arranging the paintings how I wanted them. The focus was to be a landscape wall-sized painting of the city from the top of the blitzball dome. As promised, I hung none with Auron as the focus. They were all of the city, the people, the water. Anything from life.

And by the opening it would be beautiful.

Hours before, I was still dressing nervously. I was to speak, present, and tour guests around.

"You don't have to come if you don't want to. There's really nothing for you to do there. And do you really want to make more of a figure of yourself? You've never been one to be sociable as I understand."

"I should come, otherwise you'll be a wreck."

"Very true."

He helped me string up the back corset piece, drapping fabric pieces down my sides. I was ready, slightly nervous, but ready.

Wordless, he lead me to the exhibit then dropped my hand to fall in pace behind me as we approached the crowd.

That segment in time seemed to go by uneventful. As it went on, I became less and less nervous, but even less excited. These weren't the ones I really wanted to display. I'd rather show my dreams to this city, to warn them. To ask them to live without worries. That was the wide sentiment anyway, but… I wasn't satisfied by the end of the night and he saw.

As I shut the lights and locked ourselves in, away from everything, I felt his gaze on my back.

"Mae."

"I don't know, Auron," I turned to face him. "I was so excited for this to open."

"You wish I hadn't told you everything."

"I had asked. And you told me. It's ok."

"Obviously not. You were the one who said to stop thinking poorly. That you saw everything."

I smiled a bit at his words. "True." Taking a step forward, I swung my arms out to him. "Can you do one more thing for me?"

He shrugged off his robe and took my hands in both of his. "What?" he peered down at me.

"Show me how you were when you were younger. I know you can somehow."

"You wouldn't like me, like you've said. And there's no point. I'm not young anymore. I'm getting old."

I laughed. "Don't say that! I want to see you, I want to know what you used to look like, how you used to act. I won't think any less of you."

"You might."

"Auron."

"Fine.

And he knelt and spread his arms and in a flash of light we were in a dream. And I saw him. 25 years old and gorgeous. I wanted the younger version of him right then and there. I saw his memories of Braska and Jecht and their interactions on the road. Auron surely was abrupt and couldn't take a laugh. Then he showed me his death and stopped.

"There. That's it. I was an ass, too much for my own good. It killed me."

"No, you cared for them, more than yourself, and that's the best thing a man could offer others. I'm proud."

He tried to smile but he knew better. Things were different now that I knew the truth. I didn't hold the confidence I once had. It made me think that my other visions might be false as well.

I didn't realize when he took my hand and tugged in a motion to leave.

I couldn't move.

I looked everywhere around the room, but never at him, not at our hands entwined, not at the ring on my finger.

"When I first took you to my home, why did you leave? What made you come back?"

He gripped harder. "Why do you ask? It doesn't matter anymore. I thought you knew."

"I do. I mean, you left because you were unsure-"

"I left because I was too sure. I didn't want to wrap you up in my life. I didn't want to love you because I knew that I would end up telling you everything and that would only be detrimental. I was right. I should have told you nothing and let you find out for yourself."

"Then I would only have been that much more horrifed that you never said anything!"

"It would have been easier."

"For who? You?" I wanted to cry again. I tried holding my breath to stop the tears that I felt behind my eyes but they fell slowly anyway.

"You tell me that I'm not real! What do you expect? You were right, but how much more horrible would it have been for _me_ to die and… and what? Never have known that it was coming! At least here, you stayed for me, you stayed to comfort me for when that time comes and I may never see you again! I would much rather be with you here and have a home with you then a friendship with a one-sided love. That would have been terrible…."

He said nothing in reply for a few moments before asking me if I had any other questions.

"Why did you find me in the first place?" I didn't mean to sound cynical or have the bite to my words as it did. It affected him and I immediately regretted it. I appologized and took his hands and embraced him and told him I loved him and through all of it he whispered to me that he was lonely.

He missed Braska and Jecht but could never admit that. I could feel that he had shed tears of sadness and anger over them more than once. They had been his only family, his only friends, and they were taken from him. Perhaps he was susceptible to doomed relationships, perhaps that was his tragic flaw, but he learned more from them than from anyone ever in his life. But he was fated to death as well, just to help the world live, and I loved him ever more for it. I forgot my own fate, yet knowing that I could change it, I would find a way. I would change my destiny to help him even if he could not change his. But this time, I will not be the last. He will not be left to see another loved one die. I wouldn't allow the world to keep screwing him over, even if it was for the best in the end.

I will find a way for Sin to take me to Spira, or I will find a way to get there myself.


	9. Chapter 9

The months passed and our life together changed, gradually. I was startled at first but came to understand the reasons and knew that it had nothing to do with me. I kept thinking that I wished he had warned me. Sad thing is, he did. And there were days when deep depression overtook him. Those were the days I dreaded. I couldn't stand seeing him in those moods.

During the day he sulked and said nothing to me. It hurt but I knew there was nothing I could say. So I held him tight and he was cold but he didn't get any warmer and didn't touch me in return. But I kept holding and I learned how to stiffle the tears and knew in the bottom of my soul that it was not me. It was just sadness. Now that he was with me, he knew that he did not have to appear strong anymore. He let it all lose.

But there were nights that I went to bed afraid. Not afraid that he would leave or that I would be betrayed. No, it wasn't an emotion-based fright. At the end of the second week that we slept in the same bed, he nearly choked me. I didn't know what was going on, but it turned out it was the result of a dream. In this half-wakened state, he was too strong and I tried to push him away, but he kept saying, "Yunalesca. It was unwise," or "Stay away." I urged him that I wasn't her, that I was Mae, that I loved him, that he needed to wake up. He let go without any words and fell asleep. I mentioned the episode to him a few days later and he wanted to leave me, that I would be safer without him. I begged him that it would be all right. The fight that ensued was like those previously. I won out but he remained reluctant.

There were other nights every so often where he would just mutter in his sleep. It was like post-traumatic-stress-disorder, I suppose. And I would hold him tighter to ensure him I was there for him. But I slowly began to realize that I could never fill the void those men had left in his heart. I tried so hard to fill it, but a bit aways remained empty.

This was after two and a half years. This is what he warned me of. I saw and experienced everything that he had kept to himself. He had suffered alone all these eyars.

Every now and then there were days, weeks even when he was like the man I originally encountered. He took me out, he treated me, he made love to me, once he even attempted cooking. Despite the bad days, it was overwhemingly amazing.

Then one night we were sitting outside on a dock after dinner when I noticed something.

He hadn't looked at me at all that day. Whenever I tried to catch his gaze, he would turn away. When I visited him in the dojo, he wouldn't even acknowledge that I had entered. He became increasingly silent over the months and I didn't wonder why. The time was coming and it was affecting him greatly.

His arms were crossed tight across his chest. I had gradually gotten him to start wearing more normal clothing around the home and outdoors. He relaxed beside me in loose pants and shirt, his scar evident trailing down his neck on the other side. I leaned against him, reaching around a hand to find one of his. He still didn't look but let me touch him.

I cradled my head in his chest, whispering, "You must stop this. It's hurting too much. I realize the time is nearing and this will end, but I'm coming with you. So stop. Otherwise you must tell me what's wrong. You've been cutting yourself off from me recently and frankly I find it stupid." I pulled back, brushing my hand across his chest to rest on his left bicep.

I wanted to ask him if he still loved me, but that too seemed like an immature question.

He sighed, craning his head back to hang off the back of the bench. Shutting his eye, he relaxed his arms, dropping them into his lap.

I had to try again. I spoke calmly but hesitant between sentences. I urged him to listen.

"Do you remember when we first met, Auron? You found me on the bridge. And I knew it was you. I knew who you were from my dreams. I knew that you'd be the man I would be with and I'd be the one to lift your pain. I love you so much and I know you still feel it. Otherwise you wouldn't be acting like this. "

After a few moments, I stood up, then one knee up after the other, I straddled him like I always did. I placed his hands on my thighs, then leaned back, straining slightly to remove his glasses and place them beside us. His head followed my hands as they retracted, his features softer, his lips relaxed as if he were about to say something to me.

I embraced him wholeheartedly, arms wrapped around him to dangle behind. I begged him to bury himself within me, to know that he'd be safe.

I felt his fingertips move; I waited. I continued to hold him tight, nuzzling my face in his hair. I felt my own tears well and fall unwillingly as he trailed his hands ever so causiously from my thighs to my hips.

Pulling back gently to make sure he didn't break contact, I pressed the palms of my hands to the back of his neck and kissed him with trembling lips. I kissed him like it was the first time I had ever done so. When he protected me from the construction-fall and I brushed my lips to his. Then I kissed him like the second time. Hesitant, then like the third, begging him. Then I felt him shudder. He was crying. I didn't pull back, I just held him, and I felt his tears. Just a few. A few, but he owed himself them. It's amazing what a cry can do for a person, especially if accompanied with an embrace. His hands fell to either side of him, and I traced the scar from his eye, down his neck, then around to his chest. I pressed into him; I kissed the scar, then his eye, then his lips again, all so lightly.

Finally I ended all contact to receive a blinding mixture of sorrow, regret, thankfulness, pain, and love. His eye closed, lips still slightly parted, I felt his breath on my chest.

He said nothing as we returned to the dojo and we sat next to each other against the wall on the tatami.

He only said my name and took my hand from my lap.

"It's ok."

-----

Sin came a few months later.

I watched him leave.

My head swam and my life darkened. I fell.

I awoke in a plain. A grassy, breezy, bright expanse of a field. I heard noises, galloping, whistling, whispering. I heard birds and I heard men. I heard children and laughter and I heard water. Ships docking and women yelling. I felt the earth beneath my fingertips and pulled grass from the dirt and looked at my hand and the dried blood and the bruises. I laughed and cried into the earth. This has to be another dream.

Where was he?

Where was he!

I was frantic, I tried to roll over on my back and get up, but a hand pushed me back down on my side and I gasped and looked over my shoulder and he was there.

"You're still hurt. You need to rest for a bit longer. Just a bit. Please."

I had no one to praise except for Sin but he wasn't here and it would probably be quite inappopriate of me to declare the personification of hell-on-earth to be my savior.

But he was here. He was with me.

He smirked at me behind his glasses and cowl. "I suppose you can say 'I told you so' as soon as you gain the strength."


End file.
